10 things NOT to do on Valentine’s Day
It’s that time of year when love is in the air and people are constantly shot down by cupids arrow. People celebrate Valentines Day to pay tribute to Saint Valentines undying love for his mistress. While many guys succeed in winning over girls heart, there are some who only manage to make fools of themselves. Here’s a funny take on 10 things NOT to do on Valentines day.
1. We all have someone who we secretly love and on valentines day cards are the best way to express it. But do not sent a card to him/her through a common friend, especially if the card says “CALL ME (in red with your number next to it).
2. Its good to send intimate cards to your girlfriend, but DON’T send cards like:-
“Roses are red, violets are blue.
Since the time i saw you, i knew i was in love with you”
P.S. Wana try anal?
3. Don’t buy her a bunch of carnations and say “My bad. But the red roses were too damn expensive!!”
4. Take her out for an expensive dinner but when the bill arrives then DON’T say “God damn!! I could have drunk 5 beers for this much! And I’m not even getting laid tonight!!”
5. When you spend the day with her or take her out for dinner then DON’T wear a t-shirt reading “I’M WITH STUPID”.
6. Guys love to give girls sexy thongs with an intimate note. But avoid notes like “Your sister looked really sexy in it, so I thought you would too! Hope you like it. And don’t worry, I washed it.”
7. DON’T give 10 different girls the same card and think that they will never find out, because trust me. They will, they ALWAYS do!
8. It’s great to have music on while having sex, it makes things even more sensual then before. But avoid playing bands like Cannibal Corpse or Lamb Of God, it wont make her have multiple orgasms.
9. You should always be a gentleman when you’re with her on this special day. If she accidentally slips on a wet floor then it’s best not to say “You got served, Biatch!!”
10. It goes without saying that you should always use a condom while having sex. But for fucks sake DON’T buy cherry flavored condoms. It’s not romantic, it’s just wrong…plain damn WRONG!
These are just some of the things that you should not do on this special day, but i guess its up to you to screw things up and find out for yourself. And please find out things you can add to this blog. If nothing goes right then you can always look yourself in the mirror and say “Well…Shit happens!! I always have my right hand…”
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